How do we stay on top of it and ensure that we continue to spark joy and keep working at it?
What are the ways you can rekindle your relationship and the commitments with your partners but more so with our heavenly father who longs to spend time with us? He longs for us to sit at His feet and marvel at His promises.
Let us put every distraction aside and pursue Him as He pursues His loved ones.
God bless you as you intentionally pursue and long for more of Him.
As a single lady, one area that I’m sure a lot of us experience challenges is sexual intimacy. The clamor for sex is sickening. The enemy dangles it in your face like you can’t do without it. You can’t damage your life before marriage. You have to step into it whole ~Hebrews 13:4. When you crave for something the most, it never comes your way. You don’t need to pleasure yourself in the bid to while away time i.e. masturbate. You need to pour yourself into an activity that brings self-worth, pride, and fulfillment.
Sometimes I feel left out? But then am I really? Life is in stages and everyone goes through them at different times Eccl 3:1-11. I am blessed with singleness, and I need to enjoy it and accomplish the unaccomplished goals. I noticed that when I start being idle the temptations arise. Therefore, don’t mark time, be involved, and bless lives.
Another area is purpose. I think sometimes we need to ask “Who am I? What are my strong attributes? Do I believe in myself?”. Here are some things I know about me.
I am bold, courageous, friendly, funny, I save well, I am brilliant, I have good ideas, I love to see things change, I love fries, chocolate, I have a knack for good things. Most of all, I’m loved by the King of kings John 3:16
What then should define me? What God says or the compliments I have from people? The reason I ask these questions is that as a single lady, there are times I feel alone or maybe something’s wrong somewhere. So then I start to search for where those thoughts are coming from and question my motives or thought process ~Romans 12:2, Phil 4:8.
Here are more examples of those questions. Do I think that when I don’t have a particular interest in a type of man, I’m not beautiful or attractive? Am I a people pleaser than a God pleaser? Do I always seek reaffirmation from people always? Do I feel unworthy because I’m feeling not love-able? What baggage do I carry that hinders me from being free to be loved?
I honestly dread a bad testimony about me from people I have interacted with. The fear of them knowing my flaws makes me feel unworthy, unlovable and could make it difficult when actually someone might care.
I know some of you might be like me with all these thoughts. I just want to let you know that you are not alone. I find my strength daily in God’s word and here are a few of those I love are Ps 139:7-18, Phil5:6-7, Rom 8:28;35-39, Jer29:11, Eccl3:1-11, Jos1:7-9.
These verses encourage all the time knowing that He has a plan and being single is part of that, so I take my time to enjoy it to the fullest.
To all my single ladies out there, your best days are ahead of you. Keep your head high and wait in purity.
My friend once told me about the story of The Elephant versus The Dog. The elephant and the dog got pregnant at the same time. Elephants have a gestation period of 22 months where it gives birth to one baby elephant. While the dog has a gestation period of about 2- 3months and gives birth to five or six puppies. So, after three months the dog gave birth to six puppies while the Elephant was still pregnant. The dog got pregnant again and with the same pattern the dog gave birth after three months to another six puppies.
While the 18th month of the Elephant’s pregnancy kicked in the dog questions the elephant if it is actually pregnant and this makes the elephant insecure and starts questioning itself as well. However, the elephant is reminded that what it’s carrying is an elephant and not a puppy, hence it only carries one in two years. Once the baby elephant is born the earth feels it. It is a mighty and great animal that walks the earth.
One of the main morals of this story is that we should not lose faith when we see others receive answers to their prayers before us. Moreover, we should not compare our blessings to other people’s blessings. Being envious of what others have doesn’t take us anywhere. We should practice contentment and hold on to the fact that our time is coming.
With the rise in digitization and a wide variety of social media platforms, it is now so easy to connect with long-lost friends and even space to make new ones. However, with platforms like Instagram and Facebook where people show beautifully curated images of how amazing their lives are, it’s so easy for us to compare our current lives with those we see online. Several thoughts that run through my mind each day are:
“Wow look, she’s my age and she have a beautiful house of her own”
“Look he’s running his own business and is soon moving out of his parent’s house!”
“I wonder when I’ll be earning six figure salaries like she already is”
These are just a few examples of the toxic thoughts that race through my mind from time to time. A lot of us may be envious or even jealous of our peers, just because our lives are not lined up as seamlessly as theirs appear to be. This form of envy and jealousy often leads us to wish negatively upon our friends or even our family. Just so that we can feel better about the stage of life we are in.
Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “Comparison is the thief of joy”. For me, the comparison was always something that I deeply struggled with. Whether it was consciously or subconsciously. I always asked God how is it that ‘so and so’ can get this and do this and in turn, I was always angry when speaking to God. I felt like life was unfair. I was confused as to why I hadn’t gotten my big break yet, just like everyone else. Bible plan after plan I still wasn’t getting it.
We must remember to provide pure genuine congratulations without trying to tear each other down. Contentment is the only antidote to the comparison. Instead of being envious or jealous, we need to be thankful and not try to dim anyone else. Similarly, to the Elephant story, we should be patient and content. God knows what he is doing, no need for us to try and take control of the situation or place negative wishes upon others.
Some verses that have helped to keep me from falling into comparison are:
We are told in Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” The Lord knows each and every one of us by name. He knows exactly what we desire, therefore we should put our trust in him and know that he always fulfills his promises.
Also, in Romans 12:2 “Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.” Instead of trying to match up to everyone else, we should place our focus on God and his teachings. Instead of living like the world, we should live as Jesus taught us. The Lord will grant his promises he always does, but our focus should not be on materialistic things but on the mercy and the grace that he has shown us, and on the teachings he provided.
It’s not up to us to dictate our lives, the Lord gave us life and we should live according to our purpose. We all have a different purpose in life; therefore stop comparing yourself with others as it doesn’t make sense. We are called to trust in God and be thankful for all that he has provided us with.
We are indeed a talking and an oversharing generation. But can we pray for the wisdom to know the season for sharing and that for hiding in the closet in silence? It is not too late.
A season of silence is a time of preparation for the manifestation of the promise/ gift or assignment. There is so much power that comes in silence. Silence is a super power and the key that leads us to manifestation of God’s promises.
Out of the heart, the mouth speaks. It is not always about always having something to say. Sometimes, it brings more glory to God and makes us humble by walking in silence.
May we be a people who give room for God’s revelation and promises to mature before we crush them with immature talks before its time for manifestation. God had chosen Nehemiah and gave Him a calling and an assignment. He went about it in wisdom and did not go about sharing that he had the upper hand. Nehemiah 2:11-12 I went to Jerusalem, and after staying there three days 12 I set out during the night with a few others. I had not told anyone what my God had put in my heart to do for Jerusalem. There were no mounts with me except the one I was riding on. Let us build certain things in silence, just like a butterfly in its early stages.
Let us be a generation that builds in silence and one that does not seek and attract attention until the appointed time.
Remember the prayer I prayed ” Thank God for being patient with me”.
In the valley, He was patient me and when it was time to get back and open my curtains, the Holly Spirit whisphered “its time child” and by His grace, I listened to His nudging and picked up my comfortable mat because it was time.
God is indeed patient with us. We have moments when we might have ‘ slagged’ in pursuing our purpose because of life’s struggles but He is always waiting with arms wide open. So , when you feel it’s time to step right back up, know that you are never alone. Your purpose is still where you left it at. You can pray ” show me my purpose Lord” no wrong in that but I feel we should praying ” Lord, where can I start from or continue from? I feel like you are leading me to this, should I go ahead?”.
My spiritual life equals my physical life. So how do I practice healthy habits or seek healthy habits that will change my life. I go back to my healthy morning habits that will help me face my trauma and see me though this weight loss journey and finally being able to get back on track with God and my physical situation. I am a brand new me and I have finally opened the curtain and with God’s grace , I am not going back to that valley no more. We need to ‘wake up’ from our slumber as humanity is thirsty for our gifts and our presence.
We should also not be comparing our lives with others, some of us have been called to hospitality to smile at people and hug them, others have been called to the screens with microphones, to speak up in boldness without shame, and more so others behind the screen or any public scene. Whether staying at home and pouring your love to those tiny ones or in the corridors of the corporate world, shining Jesus’s love and kingdom principles in an environment that is thirsty for it. I pray we all discover what is that thing, we have been called to do.
Why does God keep waking you up each morning? We can’t pour out from an empty heart. On the other hand, we can’t keep ‘hiding’ and soaking up, we need a channeling out ~ a system that operates in balance of flowing in and out. That’s why we are here.
We ought to be both a Mary and a Martha in kingdom work. Wisdom is realising when you have been in one of the season’s for too long and doing the necessary. Have you been soaking up too long and feel like God is nudging you to get back out there?, or have you been leaking out and pouring out for so long and feel like you are no longer speaking from the vine but more so adding your own words?
Thank God in His mercies and grace for being patient with us. But in His patience, there is still a gentle nudge and whisper calling out His sons and daughters to take up their positions and be His hands and feet in this world. Lean in , and take up space with the confidence that you are not doing it alone and in your own might.
He has your back. “It’s time child” He whispers. The sign – Jesus Christ) prophesied long ago is here now, we don’t need to look for it.
Kingdom life is more so like a GPS system, where we are intertwined with the Holly Spirit, keen in our spiritual ears , not missing his cues and signs. So how do we follow God’s plan and his will for our lives. Do we know why we wake up in the morning and what God’s-designed destiny is for our lives? He says ” I know the plans I have for you…” He has already revealed Himself to you, His power has been made perfect in you.
We ought to move from “show me the way” to more specific prayers like ” God, how do you want me to go about this, is this plan that I have in line with your will?”. Once you hear from God, it is then ok to go back to God and ask Him for a confirmation, which He is always faithful to give. He will use a random person to prophecy, or declare a word to you. He will even use nature or kids to confirm His word to you.
Note, it’s only after seeking His will, are we to ask for a confirmation and not going about asking for signs here and there before we have even sat at His feet to consult if this was even the way he wants us to go. This way, it will be no longer a CONFIRMATION’, but you going in it, in your own way. Back to purpose, being attentive in the Spirit and the GPS system. Once you know your purpose, you start ‘moving/acting in faith’ . It is only while moving that your GPS is able to recalibrate and select the right way. You can’t select the right way while being still.
So, it is with our purpose and all kingdom work God has called us to do. He says in 2Peter 1:3 ” By his divine power, God has given us everything we need for living a godly life. We have received all of this by coming to know him, the one who called us to himself by means of his marvelous glory and excellence.” Meaning, all have been made available for us way in advance before our calling. All we need to do is start moving, taking our position and in moving, when we feel like we need some guidance and affirmation to check whether the road we took was really the one meant to, we can keep asking for direction.
We need to ask direction in wisdom too. When you select a route on the GPS, it usually says, “keep going straight for 30km or so”. I have never heard any GPS, repeating at each KM “yes, go straight, yes, keep going, yes, go on straight. No, it gives the clear instruction at the beginning and then usually a few Kms later, it will say briefly ” continue straight”. It is the same with our walk with Christ, He has promised to walk with us and said He will never forsake us.
So when God endorses your plan and you feel it deep in your bones and spirit that He has confirmed it, you start moving and have the confidence that He is with you and that He has already provided a way . God is indeed patient with us. We have moments when we might have ‘ slagged’ in pursuing our purpose because of life’s struggles but He is always waiting with arms wide open. So , when you feel it’s time to step right back up, know that you are never alone.
Your purpose is still where you left it at. You can pray ” show me my purpose Lord” no wrong in that but I feel we should praying ” Lord, where can I start from or continue from? I feel like you are leading me to this, should I go ahead?”. We need to ‘wake up’ from our slumber as humanity is thirsty for our gifts and our presence.
We should also not be comparing our lives with others, some of us have been called to hospitality to smile at people and hug them, others have been called to the screens with microphones, to speak up in boldness without shame, and more so others behind the screen or any public scene. Whether staying at home and pouring your love to those tiny ones or in the corridors of the corporate world, shining Jesus’s love and kingdom principles in an environment that is thirsty for it.
I pray we all discover what is that thing, we have been called to do. Why does God keep waking you up each morning? We can’t pour out from an empty heart. On the other hand, we can’t keep ‘hiding’ and soaking up, we need a channeling out ~ a system that operates in balance of flowing in and out. That’s why we are here.
We ought to be both a Mary and a Martha in kingdom work. Wisdom is realising when you have been in one of the season’s for too long and doing the necessary. Have you been soaking up too long and feel like God is nudging you to get back out there?, or have you been leaking out and pouring out for so long and feel like you are no longer speaking from the vine but more so adding your own words? T
hank God in His mercies and grace for being patient with us. But in His patience, there is still a gentle nudge and whisper calling out His sons and daughters to take up their positions and be His hands and feet in this world. Lean in , and take up space with the confidence that you are not doing it alone and in your own might.
He has your back. “It’s time child” He whispers. The sign – Jesus Christ) prophesied long ago is here now, we don’t need to look for it.
Our tongues speak volumes into people’s live. often times these words are not as beautiful and building as we would have them in the 1st place.
We need to ask for God’s help in taming our tongues so we have self control over it, and then we can be a people with tongues that build instead of tearing down.
Truth is, we can never take those words back once they are out. The Lord is willing to help us guard our lips and tongues.
So before heading out to those platforms, please check your sounds d system and make sure it’s in tune with the Holly Spirit. We can start afresh because God is ready to forgive for all the tearing downs we have done so far.
Let’s start building, speaking life and let’s watch our words because it has power of life and death.
“If we live, we live for the Lord; and if we die, we die for the Lord. So whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord.” ~Romans 14:8
For a long time I felt like I was floating in between “the world” and God’s will for me in my life. I didn’t know where I belonged until I committed my life to Jesus. I knew God existed but I was not ready to commit my life to Him. And it was during that time that it would make me vulnerable to attacks from the devil who was trying to win my soul and destroy me! But I thank God that I always had my Faith and believed in the power of the name Jesus, which would set me free every time I got attacked.
When I was a teenager God gave me a dream which turned out to be a prophetic message from Him over my life. It also confirmed a scripture a friend of mine gave me exactly around the same time: Psalm 50:15 “and call on me in the day of trouble, I will deliver you and you will honor me.“
In that dream, I was being chased by the devil in my own house and he was trying to grab my throat and choke me. Now the reason he was grabbing my throat is so that I would not be able to say the name of Jesus because as soon as you say: “in the name of Jesus” the devil flees, AMEN!
So throughout my dream, I was fighting against the devil and had so much Faith that when at the third time he was trying to choke me, I reached out my right arm up to Heaven and screamed: “in the name of Jesus” As soon as I said this I woke up crying. Looking back today, I can testify that those 3 times of nearly being choked, were the 3 serious relationships with abusive men I have had. And in each one of these relationships, I called upon the Lord and He did set me free!
So my encouragement for you today is, call upon Him and He will help you. He will never leave you, nor forsake you (Deuteronomy 31:8) Put your trust in Him.
Prayer: “Father God I just want to thank you for Your love, for your patience but most of all for Your grace and Your mercy. This morning I want to ask you to strengthen us where we are weak, to guide us where we feel lost. Lord, I pray for all of our brothers and sisters out there, that they are willing to submit themselves to You and Your will, that we may be a light in this dark world. In Jesus name, Amen”
God bless always,
Ursula.
Ursula is a single mother to a teen boy and a teenage daughter. She is a lover of her quiet mornings, her dog Angel and her beautiful flower garden. She loves hosting bible studies in her home and encourage women to experience Jesus in their various journeys.