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Family Life & Marriage Hope

Not Alone! You Are The One He Leaves The 99 To Come Find.

April 9, 2020
no fear just hope

“Hello Opa (Grand-pa), I am so so sad that you have to spend Easter alone this year. In the past, we have spent Easter together with all the family members as well as Oma. This year, we can not come because of Corona and the borders are closed. I have made this card for you to show that I am thinking of you. Lots of love Imani -Jane. Kisses’’

This week marks one year since the passing of Oma. She died last year in April just before her birthday. Easter has always been one of the many times we would all join at the house . The younger grand and great grand kids would be playing and running barefoot in the garden with chocolate melted all over their faces. The mothers would be worried about the sugar rush later on when we would get back home, but Oma did not let that bother her. She would insist, let the kids have fun!.

At the end of the day, usually at night, Opa and Oma would give all the young kids bags of Easter presents with more chocolate and eggs . The only ‘disagreement’ I have witnessed my parents in law having with their grown kids is that ‘they cared/ loved too much’. They always go the extra mile and there is nothing wrong with this. This year, there in no Oma to love too much on her babies and her memory will live in the hearts of her children, grand and great kids as well as extended kids forever.

When I-J, read to me what she had written, I felt saddened and wanted to be there for her and Opa as well. I wanted to cal him and just hear him speak for hours ~ he can easily do this. Problem is, my dutch is not that fluent for a deep conversation like this one would entail. I was so proud of I-J for thinking of this and doing it with the help of her dad posting the letter.

It made me ponder and think about the many people who are now more lonely and alone because of quarantine and forced isolation. In NL, its common for grandparents to have a granny day where the grandkids visit and spend the day or the grandparents pick the kids from school, spend time with them until evening when they drop them off home or parents pick them up, ~ this is not happening anymore.

Last week, some friends posted a selfie they had made through the window during the weekly grocery drop off and visit to their elderly parents. This made me smile that people are finding creative ways to still have contact , just not physical. Not being able to see your parents or grand kids for weeks and then having the opportunity to see them even just through the window, I bet would be the greatest feeling ever.

On the negative side, on the news this week, it was mentioned that domestic violence has increased the last 4 weeks since the lock down both in Belgium and The Netherlands. Children are calling helplines because of all kinds of abuse and the calls from partners in violent relationships has also gone up. Mostly, such cases in children are usually discovered during growth check ups at the health centers at least for children younger than 4years, where children are physically checked to see whether they are growing well.

I-J and her grandparents. (Late grandmother. )

However, since the pandemic all these check up have been transferred to calls. The doctor called me last week to check on how Amirah was doing and of course she had to believe all I said about her development. She was not there to check her body, skin or even weigh her to confirm everything. From my voice and questions, she had to believe all was ok. This is not the case in most homes, as children are left to starve or eat very unhealthy food not because of lack of money but because the parents do not care or they are under the influence of drugs and making food is the last thing on their list.

At the same time, I am reminded of the children of most struggling families in Kenya and other countries, where the family can not afford more than one meal. The children therefore the kids rely on well wishers who pay for lunch at the schools so the kids can have at least one warm meal. All this is not possible right now with schools closed and the parents out of jobs, it is a sad state.

The lockdown in most countries might be #flatteningTheCurve but is causing a lot of other mental challnges. Those who were in isolation depressed, are now more deeper in the valley because no one can come and camp at their door until they open up. Everyone is trying to survive and take care of themselves. This weekend, and going forward , as we remember what God’s beloved son did for humanity, let us take on His example and love beyond our bubble or four walls. Let us love deeper , listen keenly, give generously, forgive graciously.

Philippians 2:3-4
Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.”

Lastly, I would like to encourage those going through dark times, anxiety , depression, addictions , fear and every bondage that ties you up. I pray you get the strength to proactively find or get access to meaningful connections around you or from an online group. The devil is a liar and will try to victimize you and tell you stories and scenarios where you failed so you can feed on self pity. However, I want to encourage us to reach out to someone for connection. We are stronger together and when we all arise to help each other, great things happen. Each one of us has been given unique sets of gifts that we are to put on service for Gods kingdom work. It is not of us to keep un – used. I may not be available for visits but if you send me a prayer request or just a simple ” Nelly, I am struggling”, I will reach out to you and we will pray together.

Romans 12:5
So we, being many, are one body in Christ, and individually members of one another.”

1 Corinthians 12:12
For as the body is one and has many members, but all the members of that one body, being many are one body, so also is Christ.”

1 Corinthians 12:26
And if one member suffers, all the members suffer with it; or if one member is honored, all the members rejoice with it.”

Most importantly, after seeking ‘felllowship’, let us turn back from all fear and trust God by calling out to him as our father ~ He does hear us and wants to have a deeper connection with us. By letting fear rule, we are trying to be in control and thus fighting a battle that was already won thousands of years ago.

God knows we can not do it on our own and is therefore, waiting for an invitation. Will you invite him to walk with you? Would you let Him in? Remember, He is the one who was abandoned in darkness to die for you. He rose again in victory and chooses to leave the 99 to come and find you. Ooh, in the moments of my valley season, anxiety, pain, confusion and ‘doubt’, I want to be found by Him, don’t you?

“…God of salvation
You chased down my heart
Through all of my failure and pride
On a hill You created
The light of the world
Abandoned in darkness to die
And as You speak
A hundred billion failures disappear
Where You lost Your life so I could find it here
If You left the grave behind You so will I
I can see Your heart in everything You’ve done
Every part designed in a work of art called love
If You gladly chose surrender so will I
I can see Your heart
Eight billion different ways
Every precious one
A child You died to save
If You gave Your life to love them so will I
Like You would again a hundred billion times
But what measure could amount to Your desire
You’re the One who never leaves the one behind
….” #SoWillI.

Matthew 11:28
Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

John 15:15
No longer do I call you servants, for the servant doesn’t know what his lord does. But I have called you friends, for everything that I heard from my Father, I have made known to you.

Psalm 139:7-10
Where can I go from Your Spirit?Or where can I flee from Your presence?If I ascend into heaven, You are there; If I make my bed in hell, behold, You are there. If I take the wings of the morning, And dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, Even there Your hand shall lead me, And Your right hand shall hold me.”

Let us wash our faces and celebrate the one who lost His life so you and I could find it.

Lots of love,
Mama Faith, Hope and Love.

Faith over Fear

Be Considerate, Go Serve But Do Not Be Naive : Wash Your Hands!.

March 10, 2020
no fear just hope

I love shopping in bulk ,especially for the necessities we often need, to me its just a simple economic sense and I love saving some euros when possible. I remember when I was still new in NL, I was amazed at how people only bought the things they needed for that day. I would see the person in front of me with 2 bananas and 1 bread bun and would wonder, because for me, I would have eaten those 2 bananas even before I reached home. I guess the things he/she needed for that day.

My husband was the same when we met, if he needed to make pasta, he bought 200gm mincemeat, 1 paprika, 2 onions , 2 tomatoes , you get the picture . For me, I know I will need onions , rice or tomatoes the whole week, I will buy 1kg of each or more. It is actually cheaper and saves the numerous trips to the supermarket. His comments to me are always ‘’ who are you buying all these things for?” or when I cook more portions because that’s what I am used to, he always wondered if we had guests coming over . This has all changed and he is practically Kenyan now .

Yesterday, I saw a post in a group I am in, a single mother with special needs kids was not able to find diapers for her teen boy. This was the at the fourth supermarket she had been to because of the shopping frenzy going on and people hoarding stuff. I don’t dispute the fact this COVID virus is real and we need to be vigilant in talking measures to keep ourselves safe but we also need to think of those around us or the next person coming for that item you just cleared off the shelf. Hoarding supplies has nothing to do with the virus.

Yesterday, I received an email from one of the mega supermarkets, saying they are doing their best in re-stocking and that there is plenty at the distribution centers and we should shop as normal like we usually do. I later went to one of the supermarkets in my neighborhood to get formula. Earlier this year before all the COVID cases, I had done an analysis and I came to the conclusion that I was the only one buying the hypoallergenic milk from this supermarket.

So, I am at the shelf yesterday thinking, should I get my ‘usual’ supply of 4 containers or take 3 and leave 3?. I decided to take one less incase there was a parent from the other neighborhood going round the city checking whether any of them had that same type of formula. I always wait until we get some money and then buy things like diapers when they are on sale , then I buy even unto 10 packs. However, we are not in the ‘normal’ times and I can not go on shopping like this. We have to stop and be considerate of those around us with not the same capabilities like us.

Later in the day, I saw more posts about the elderly also shocked to find empty shelves meet them at the supermarket. Then I realized, for these group of people, getting out to buy 2 bananas daily was an opportunity for them to get out of the house and get some human interaction which they would otherwise not get. Because for them, they will not just go for the 2 banana a and back, they will talk for 15 minutes with the downstairs neighbor, another 10 minutes with the Cashier and the other random people along the way. They also are not one social media to see that tissue papers are now gold. For them this is their normal routine life and something to look forward to.

Therefore, this self quarantine will affect them so much. Most of them are not visited often by family and just today, all elderly home and hospitals ,have cancelled visitations.

I am also thinking of the families our church has supported through food package program. These families, mostly of single parents, receive about 40eur or less for their weekly upkeep and baby supplies. These families have no luxury of stock buying, they live from hand to mouth. Therefore , they make daily visits to the supermarkets for deals after they have calculated what it is they really need.

Then you have the normal, healthy and working class group of people like us, who have the luxury of buying an extra pack of anything we need or even want. Is this really the time to buy 6 dozens of tissue paper when you usually just buy 2?. Have we become greedy? This is definitely fear at work, that is making logical people make illogical and rational decisions. There is actually no manual for surviving these COVID times but here are some of the things we need to ponder on and as take home message.

* Fear is a liar and has no hold of us. What do we want to are we teach our kids with how we are responding to this virus.

* I know so many towns are under lockdown and 50% of the population are up for it while the others against. We live in fast paced communities of always going through the same busy routines and lifestyle. Maybe this ‘self quarantine’ period is time to cook those hearty family meals, love on your family, do those crafts you never have time for and maybe have dinner around the table. Ohh and maybe find those quiet times.

* Be honest with your kids about why you are ‘cancelling’ that playdate or birthday party. Teach them the importance of patience in the unknown.

* There are families currently separated due to the travel curfews implemented by several countries, limiting outward and inward travels. We need to check on the dad in our group who’s wife is stuck abroad and can’t mange to take all kids with him to the supermarket to get supplies or cook for the kids.

* Offer extra support to the mom , whose husband was to return from a business trip weeks ago but still hasn’t and she does not know how to cope anymore due to the unrest and not knowing how to answer the 100th question why is dad not coming home.

* Watch local news to get necessary facts and avoid channels that cause extra panic.

* The elderly in our communities need extra checks during these times. As you go for your supplies, can you get a few extra and pass it along to those around you?. I have a seen several posts in Maastricht and Den Haag of students putting up adverts outside their doors ‘’ please knock or call me if you are sick or not able to get your supplies or pharmacy rounds, I will do it for you”. Imagine if we could all be this considerate that the 1st thing we think of is the all being of others.

Another lady mentioned how she has rolls of tissues in her trunk and when she drives in the neighborhood or to and fro work, she hands this out to the elderly and needy she sees in addition to the extra home made sanitizers she carries.

* As you shop, be grateful and have empathy for the people working in retail.

* Do the best you can to keep yourself safe and those around you. Hoarding numerous bags of sanitizers does not make you immune to the virus. Think about others.

* I have seen 2 groups people, those saying let’s all self quarantine , shut down schools and those who see this whole COVID thing as a joke. All in all, this virus should at least teaches us to value life. Those who have lost lives and can’t see their close family members see this clearly, we all should.

* As you self-quarantine or socially distance yourself because your work can be remotely done, be mindful of those without that flexibility, those with temporary contractual jobs – where if you don’t show up, you automatically lose your job.

* In one of the school’s my church works with in Kenya, the children love to come to school because it is the only place they get their daily meals. There is no right or wrong in either keeping schools running or closed but we should keep in mind all connected factors. Including the parents working on contractual jobs and keeping kids home, means they need to find childcare for them which they have never afforded or even had to think about.

*Enough with the judging!. On of my colleague is half Japanese -Chinese and during a recent holiday trip, she literally saw people avoid being near her. It did not matter that she has not been to China in the recent months or year, its just because she is Chinese.

Who are we to judge? I pray this virus will leave having taught us to live as a community. I don’t suggest that they should have hugged her either. but a little kindness would have gone along way. Imagine, if this Chinese was the only one with supplies in your neighborhood, would you die of starvation in your house because she is Chinese!.

* We need to seize this opportunity and go the extra mile to love, serve our neighbors as we spread hope to counter the spirit of fear which seems like its winning now but there is hope.

* As you serve and go the extra mile, do this in wisdom and do not be reckless in the name of serving. Follow the health recommendations; avoid crowds, practice good hygiene and disinfect those surfaces.

* I just read this morning that food banks may suffer closure as well. Let us look out for opportunities to serve. By either dropping some soup and supplies at the salvation army or charity organizations that usually offer support to those in need.

* Give an extra donation or offering to your church or your organization, because when disaster hits, most people find solace in the church or Mosques.

* Pray for those with weak immune systems and for the elderly who we know already go through depression and loneliness everyday and this adds to it.

* Be grateful and pray for the health workers working overtime and having to stay away from their own families for long periods of time.

* Part for the separated families.

* Let us avoid unnecessary panic on what is seen , instead let us trust in God as He is sovereign over all this. lets….’’ fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.’’ 2 Cor 4:18.

There is no formula or manual on surviving this virus or how to carry out our lives during this time. Truth is, we are all like fish swept to the shores and now trying to swim back to the water. As we do this, let us watch out not to step on others and let us show grace to all, point is we all need it.

Joshua 1:9 ~”Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.

Do not forget that fear will rob your peace and make you panic. …”He is a liar, he will rob your rest and steal your happiness” -ZW. Don’t give in.

We are surrounded with so many negative things, what are some of the positives you have experienced as a family or individual?

The Dutch government has canceled all gatherings of more than 100 people, so we are having virtual church today and the 99 will gather physically. Hope you tune in somewhere.

Be Blessed.
Mama Faith, Hope & Love.