I am getting ready to go to work and I realize that today would have been the beginning of my maternity leave. In the Netherlands, you can to start your leave at 36 weeks~this gives you time to ‘nest ‘ and get ready for the baby.
So how is this day looking like to me? Well, this week has been full of me getting random flash backs of Olivia’s face, my bump and feelings of “what if”. I was really looking forward to this maternity leave as it was going to be different. With IJ, I was at University so no leave just books. After giving birth to IJ, I was in class sitting for an exam 5days later and still walking like a pinguin.
Yesterday at work, we were planning some meetings for the upcoming weeks and in my mind, I was talking myself “… I would not have been here, I would have been on my maternity leave, then I wouldn’t have to be assigned those duties”. Anyway, I am here now and I have to do my work as to the Lord with full attention.
Now that I somehow feel ‘sorry’ for myself that instead of being home and finishing up Olivia’s room , re-washing and ironing her clothes, like I did for IJ, I ‘have’ to be at work. So how do I deal with those sad emotions of ‘defeat’? I have to turn them to Christ.
This is easier said than done because as humans, we like to take control of our emotions but this would mean, us dwelling in the sadness as if the darkness has won over the light. It hasn’t won!! Even though it seems to be winning , darkness shall never consume the light!!.
I am going to work, with the confidence that Paul had when he started this verse with BUT. I am also confessing today that….. “But my God shall supply all (MY) your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:19.
I am going with the confidence in my God. Normally, we tell others that we will pray for them and that OUR God will come through for them but sometimes it requires a new set of confidence to tell that to your self (MY GOD). The same victory your God did for those you believed Him for, He will do for you, just as He was mighty in the lives of others, so He is with you.
Declare out loud that he is your healer, provider, comforter, or any victory you are expecting to experience. God longs to be given all the control. Lets us boast of His power. As humans, we boast of so many things but God says in His word (Jeremiah 9:24)that if anything, let’s us boast of the fact that we know and understand Him.
Uncertain Territory – image by Nelly.
Uncertainty:
Right now, I am at a place where I have seen what God can do and trusting Him to do what I am confident He can do. I am uncertain of how my emotions will be this afternoon or tomorrow or next month when Olivia’s due date comes. However, what am certain of is my faith in the one who holds the universe just like Abraham did.
“It was by faith that Abraham obeyed when God called him to leave home and go to another land that God would give him as his inheritance. He went without knowing where he was going” Hebrews 11:8”, NLT.
During this uncertain times, I have to honestly let God know of my emotions and fears just like David did “This is new and unfamiliar for me God!” I choose to trust God more now, having the confidence that he got my back.
My unfamiliar ground, is very familiar to God. Nothing gets him by surprise as He’s all knowing and has already figured out a way out of it. Remember, He is the ‘God who moves the mountains’ and makes a way where there’s no way. Trust Him that as you move into the unknown and unfamiliar ground, He’s with you all the way.
By His grace, He will bring you to a time where all will be familiar to you.
I can’t believe that it has been exactly 12 weeks of me being home. I left work 12 weeks ago for what seemed to be a 3 week summer holiday only for me to end up being admitted on that same day and that is how I started my summer holiday in the hospital.
At 8.30 am today, I will be sitting in my office and trying to fit right back in the corporate business environment. I am not sure how the day will go or how my emotions will be when I get to work on the same thing I worked on just before I left work 12 weeks ago. I am not the same person I was 12weeks ago, because 12 weeks ago, I was sitting in that same office and feeling my baby move.
The last projects I worked on were with my hands rubbing my bump and my baby inside me. So going back in a way feels weird . I have clients who knew I was expectant so I am already thinking of the conversations that will come up when they ask, “ when are you due?” or “ how is the baby” ~I can not blame them.
The ones who have not seen me in a while will think that I am currently pregnant. This happened with one of my neighbors, who asked me this weekend “ are you pregnant “? I was numb!!!! . How do I respond to that? Maybe I should have said ‘’ooh, I was pregnant 12 weeks ago but not anymore, what you see is just my body trying to go back to pre-pregnancy stage which is not easy’’.
There is a great transition that happens to a woman’s body when pregnant. I have friends who will go back to wearing their skinny jeans a week after delivering . as for me, when I am pregnant , even my teeth gain weight . It took a long time and hard work for me to go back to my normal weight after IJ was born . With Olivia, by 12 weeks, I was already showing and puffed despite my eating healthy and jogging everyday.
Anyway, so you can imagine going through my closet this week trying to see what will fit me and asking myself whether I should just wear my comfy maternity clothes as those are really comfortable . I work in sales and when you hear sales person, you picture sharp business skirts and pant suits . I am afraid that won’t cut it this time around as I do not fit in any those suits and I do not want anything tight on my tummy at this time. So I have been looking for skits with elastic bands and business like but still comfy dresses .
For those who took time before going back to work after a loss. I am sure you went through a state of being concerned about everything . I don’t want t say state of worry’ but you tend to think about everything that will happen during your transition to your previous rhythm. Will there be silent awkward moments with your colleagues? how do you respond to insensitive questions and so on.
Before all this happened, my usual routine is 8/8.30 pm is bed time and 5 am waking up time. However, my rhythm for the last 12 weeks has been all over the place. In the beginning I could not sleep well, so I stayed up late and got up late which made me even more tired.
Usually, every weekday after my morning devotion, I take my quiet time to the streets of Maastricht and jog ~ I have only resumed jogging 3 times in the last 2 weeks. This was my way of getting back my energy and trying to avoid thrombosis after all those inactive during bed rest at the hospital and at home. At the hospital, they gave me shots for this.
The reason for my post this morning is gratitude. I am thankful for the last 12 weeks at home and being surrounded by such a strong social support system. The 1st time, we went to talk to the ‘loss counselor’ a month after Olivia was born, the counselor. said, “ I feel that you have a very strong social support system, but I am here if you ever need me”.
This is true because, for the last 12 weeks, I have had friends who have visited from near and far, warm meals cooked and delivered to us, playdates and babysitting for IJ, my house cleaned, friends dropping by just to pray and leave, friends who ‘dragged ‘ me outside for long nice walks when they knew I needed it but would say know if they asked politely.
So they took the liberty to just invite me because I will not turn it down:). I have had tea dates, movie nights and so many great moments to celebrate friendship but also just be myself around them.
If it was up to me, I would have gone back to work maybe 2 weeks after Olivia was born as I felt there was no reason for me to stay home. Those who have talked to me know that I really struggled with this the last 12 weeks. My husband says that I never stop to rest,which is true. Even when I need to rest, I always find things to fill up my day with.
I guess I have a problem with JUST BEING. Even though I have struggled to just be’ in the last 12 weeks, I have also enjoyed moments of ‘just surrendering’ to God’s will and letting down my control guard ~ just like this song from Casting crowns.
And when you’re tired of fighting Chained by your control There’s freedom in surrender Lay it down and let it go
So when you’re on your knees and answers seem so far away You’re not alone, stop holding on and just be held Your worlds not falling apart, its falling into place I’m on the throne, stop holding on and just be held Just be held, just be held
Lift your hands, lift your eyes In the storm is where you’ll find Me And where you are, I’ll hold your heart I’ll hold your heart Come to Me, find your rest In the arms of the God who wont let go
The corporate / company doctor said during the ‘control appointment’ “take as much time as you need to heal and be fit and I will see you in a few weeks so we can plan your going back to work”. I was so shocked. I even called my mom “ mom, I feel guilty staying at home and not being at work but the Dr. did not help, she said “take as much time as you need”.
My mom works as an account and payroll officer in a company and was also shocked. she said, “you mean you can start home until you fully recover and feel fit to go back to work and your work will be waiting for you “? She works with both contract employees and those who only get paid when work is done. I for one had a temporary contract that was almost expiring when all this happened. So you can see why she was shocked but also grateful that I work in a society where this is possible.
Talking to other women who were forced to go back to work as early as 2 weeks after their loss due to financial burden made me realize how privileged I am to be able to work in a society where ‘occupational health ‘ is seen as a priority be it for employees with a temporary or permanent contact.
I have read stories and also talked with friends in other parts of the world, where sick leaves are unheard of especially when one has worked in a company for a short time. So women are forced to go back to work immediately after delivery or else they will lose their jobs. This is because they might have lost their baby before viability so the insurance companies won’t cover maternity leave.
We are all go through different situations but all I know is, for those in areas where sick leaves are limited , lose their jobs if they do not report to work because they did not save enough hours or for those who are still struggling and find themselves forced to get back to work before they recover because of financial burdens, I know for one that speaking out always helps.
You can reach out to your extended family for support as you recover, I know families who have taken up disability covers as it’s available for them, you can reach out to your friends and church family for support as you heal.
I also know for some women being home all this time can drive them crazy so they rather be at work and feel like they are doing something beneficial. I guess a balance has to be made between taking time to heal and recover well enough so as to be a functional employee and going back to work when time is right.
For me, I was just trying to evade my emotions and wanted to ‘hide’ at work. I am grateful that with the help of the corporate control doctor’, friends, and my husband, I was able to really be in the moment and take time off. I do not take for granted that my company gave me the space to grieve and heal.
Sparrow and Delft Blue pot.
Encouragement:
One friend of mine made this little sparrow and sent it to me while another friend visited me from far with this ‘Delt blue tea pot. Both pieces are unique in their own and their stories powerful in a spiritual way.
1. The Sparrow :
In the bible, there are many instances where we are reminded of why we should not say we are afraid, actually it is said to be more than 365 times. That means, we have one reminder for each day. In Matthew 10 : vs 28-31 is key this morning. ~ because if His eyes are on the Sparrow, how about us valuable humans made in His own image.
28 Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell. 29 Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care.30 And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered.31 So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.
Jesus reminds us that we should not have fear even for death because we have eternal life in him. In Romans, we are told that nothing in this world or in heaven can separate us from His love. Remember “The Lord is my light and my salvation—whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life—of whom shall I be afraid?” (Psalm 27:1-2)
Luke 12 :22-32
Do Not Worry Then Jesus said to his disciples: “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear. For life is more than food, and the body more than clothes. Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn, yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds! Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?
“Consider how the wildflowers grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today, and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, how much more will he clothe you—you of little faith!
And do not set your heart on what you will eat or drink; do not worry about it. For the pagan world runs after all such things, and your Father knows that you need them. But seek his kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well. “Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has been pleased to give you the kingdom.
You have been given the power to claim the kingdom, so let no fear nor worry take that away form you.
2. The Delft Blue teapot
The Delft blue teapot paints this picture of God as the potter molding us into vessels he wants us to be and perfect for his kingdom work. (Delft Blue is the world-famous earthenware that has been produced in the city of Delft since the 17th century) The way He has created you and where he has positioned you, even in your messy circumstances, you are to be His hands and feet to bring glory in his name.
God has created us wonderfully
Psalms 139: 13 -15 For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. 14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. 15 My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the eart
“Hath not the potter power over the clay, of the same lump to make one vessel unto honour, and another unto di)shonour?” Rom. 9:21
Gen. 2:7 “And the Lord God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul”
* Know that we are made with a purpose. No potter sets out to mold without a perfect vision of what they purpose to make. We are not made into random vessels for any random work. Let us walk in that confidence knowing that God our potter has molded us to be faith filled and not worry filled vessels.
Jeremiah 18:1-6 The word which came to Jeremiah from the LORD, saying,
2Arise, and go down to the potter’s house, and there I will cause thee to hear my words.
3Then I went down to the potter’s house, and, behold, he wrought a work on the wheels.
4And the vessel that he made of clay was marred in the hand of the potter: so he made it again another vessel, as seemed good to the potter to make it.
5Then the word of the LORD came to me, saying, 6O house of Israel, cannot I do with you as this potter? saith the LORD. Behold, as the clay is in the potter’s hand, so are ye in mine hand, O house of Israel.
The truth is, we are in Gods hands and when life becomes hard and we start worrying about what we will eat or wear or how we will survive, God wants us to rest in His hands as He re-shapes us and mold us into vessels of honor. Our human nature likes to complain and take issues into our own hands to control but God still has patience to continue molding up into His master piece.
Ephesians 2:10 “For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago”. Philippians 1:6 Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ:
As we go about our day, let us to not allow fear or worry to get hold of us, instead let us try gratitude and surrender our hunger for control in obedience to the one who has the clay in his hands, because really, He cares for us. So, I surrender my emotions as I go back to work today.
1 Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you
Psalm 139
1 You have searched me, Lord, and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you, Lord, know it completely. You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain. Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there, if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.
If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,” even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you. For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body, all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. How precious to me are your thoughts,[a] God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand- when I awake, I am still with you.
Finding the ‘new’ normal while I wait ~ for healing’
Losing a baby at any gestation whether through miscarriage or stillbirth is a life-changing experience. The pain is unbearable and though it settles down, the sadness really doesn’t disappear. There is something about grief and sadness, one moment you are totally fine and then one petty thing makes your heartache and you feel like nothing will ever cure your sadness.
Such losses because of their intimate nature, cause the couple to mourn alone, and mostly it’s the women who go through the silent grieving moments and this is never talked about in public. This is even harder for those who miscarry even before they get to announce to the family that they were expecting.
How do they come to terms with sharing the devastating news especially when they just found out they are expecting it. Or for some, how do they find the courage to come back and tell people that they are no longer expecting just days after breaking the great news. For mamas like me, who meet friends and you try to explain the flat’ tummy but empty arms and empty cradle. Where do we start from?
How do we start a new normal? Especially when mother nature hits you hard. Waking up at night not because the newborn needs a diaper change but because you are hurting from the breast engorgement and you need a new ice pack and milk pad to stop the leakage. You have all the signs of a new mom but the physical pain you are going through does not make it worthwhile. You feel that it would be worth it if there was a baby next to you then all the pain you were going through would be justified.
To add more emotional pain, you come to terms with the fact that you will never get to nurse that baby, that you will wake up at night the first weeks postpartum not because they woke you up but because of your body hurting. I have had to come to terms with the fact that I will not experience any season of ‘’firsts’’ with Olivia Amali.
Never will watch her tag with daddy or tell her to eat her veggies. I always knew she would be a better eater than her older sister IJ but I guess we will never know and this is a hard reality I like most mamas will have to face.
Wait on God ~ we do not need to doubt the existence of the sun in the night. Image by Nelly
Did you know that the hardest place to be is between what you have seen God do and what you are waiting for him to do? We are encouraged in His word to cling to his ‘unseen yet eternal promises’ 2 Cor 4;16-18
16 “Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.
17 For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.
18 So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” Just like the sun is absent in the night, His promises are revealed at the appointed time.
We only need to hold on to the hope that darkness which is the sadness and the pain, no matter how they seem to be winning, they can not extinguish the power of the light. John 1:5 “The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.” Where His presence is, there is light and His light breaks every yoke of fear and sadness.
We as His children ought to walk right into that freedom with the confidence that He is the God that moves all mountains in our lives and calls to existence promises that were unseen and did not exist before.
I would like to encourage you, that in the stormy days and cloudy days, you have never doubted the existence of the sun. Instead, we run the race and fix our eyes on Jesus trusting that the stars we see at night are a glimpse of what is coming in the morning ~ his joy and sunshine. So what do we hold on when darkness and sadness creeps in? we ought to cling to :
* Scripture : which is Gods’s truth and we can remind ourselves of His promises and what He said. * Prayer; This is where we pour out the raw emotions to Christi and let him take control.’’Father, this is beyond me, take control of my emotions an give me with joy where there is hurt and sadness. * Community : Find your tribe and allow yourself to soak in the love and care from those around you.
Friends who will sit with you in silence, pray with you, take walks with you and even confront you as the Spirit leads to asking how you are really feeling and also be ready to listen to your response if any. We are so grateful for our community both here and far. We have friends visiting from way out of town just to pray and talk for an hour and then have to travel back again.
What we need to cling to is His promises in His word and when sadness hits you, wait for God. Call out to Him …”God/ but you promised!!”
You Promised ~ Corey Voss
Everything is temporary God, You’re never ending Though it seems You sometimes hide You rise in perfect time
Bread of heaven, Living Water God of our salvation Like a shepherd, You will lead us To the other side
You are who You say You are You are who You say You are
In this moment and forever, You will surely be Everything You’ve ever promised You promised In this moment and forever, all sufficiency Is who You are, it’s who You are You promised
Through the valley to the mountain Everywhere we go Still, the clamor, fill the quiet Peace be still, my soul Peace be still, my soul!
The week Olivia was born, IJ was attending the VBS (Vacation Bible School) and she would come home each evening with memory verses they had learned. She danced away joyfully to the songs of praise they had learned. With tears in my eyes watching her, I thought “what a timely word of encouragement were they to our grieving hearts”.
As she danced away while giggling, I paused to be grateful for the great blessing such as family in my life and most specifically the enormous comfort my almost 6year old daughter brought and stills brings to us. In that same moment, my heart broke for the many women and families who are grieving like myself but lack the sweet comfort and sweet craziness of their own healthy child.
You might be reading this and wondering how do you grieve with a friend who has lost a baby. These are some of the support we have received and would like to share :
* Time and space to grieve * Give them your time and presence ~ I loved when friends just showed up without appointments and said ‘’ Shall I sit with you?” * Show up in whatever way you can ~ ring their bell, send something or card by post, a message and remember that your love , prayers and support are the most important. * I remember, i had moments i was so numb and did not want to speak on the phone but appreciated messages or emails from friends who mentioned “Take your time to respond” * Don’t stress to do anything big~ just be present in their pain and ask questions in wisdom ;). * Apart from sending cards, you can note down the monthly anniversary to send an encouraging message , remember the holiday season too ~ Christmas or mothers and fathers days. This is because , just like any child, milestones matter whether they are in heaven or here with us.
* Food- we have been so blessed by the ‘meal train organized by our local church. So, yes, send them a meal or if you are out of town you can organize a takeaway delivery from a restaurant. * For some families, medical bills could be leading them to a financially stressful time. So, small financial gifts go along way. * Child care for the other children. I remember, the first weeks postpartum, I couldn’t give IJ the attention she deserved, and having friends drop by to pick her up and bringing her back after she had had dinner was a huge blessing. * Help at home like cleaning and laundry. I am a control freak in cleaning my house and I want to do it alone. However, in the last weeks, I had to allow myself to be helped in the house especially because the body needs to heal. * Gifts to keep to help remember the baby. Does not have to be a major. I remember we got simple yet powerful gifts from friends. It could range from handmade items, tea, picture frame, flowers, prayer cards, plants, or even personalized jewelry. * Books to encourage, journals and music. I have received music CDs and several links to encouraging songs in the past weeks. * Offer to go for walks with them or something they love to do.
I would like to hear what else you could add to the list
“ 12 losses just under 10 years, 3 funerals, 26 weeks and still counting of bedrest, more prayers, tears and challenges than I can count and never giving up faith and hope has led to my very first viability day. I used to dream about what it would be like. Although this is not the finish line, I want to celebrate the rainbow colored light at the end of the dark tunnel ” I read this message from a friend Melissa and for a moment, I forgot about my own angel Olivia.
After I was discharged from the hospital, another message followed. A friend called to break the news that they were finally expecting. She exclaimed “Nelly, remember you prayed with me the last time, not sure you remember your words in that prayer, but I still do and God has indeed answered just like you prayed”
I could feel her deep joy from the phone and it was contagious. I sobbed in joy and immediately prayed “Thank you God for this blessing, please keep this baby ‘baking’ in the womb, keep them healthy, and bring them home safe’’. This is after almost 10 years of them trying to conceive, thousands of money spent on IVF which failed, and years of physical and emotional stress.
She had found out the day I was rushed to the hospital in a critical state and had since been praying for us and waiting in the hope to share her good news once I was discharged hopefully with Olivia. But now, she was mourning with me and battling how to share this good news with me until she couldn’t keep it anymore and I am so thankful she shared the good news as this was a testimony even for me. It reminded me that God was still in the business of restoration and faithfulness. Wow!
After being diagnosed with IC and placenta previa, I immediately turned to the internet for more information so I can be my own great advocate. During that quest and pursuit, I found my tribe~ these are more than 25 thousand women who have each gone through or currently going through pregnancy-related complications related to IC and many others.
In these groups, women, seek support, ask for prayers, are encouraged and motivated to stay strong as their bodies fight to keep their babies cooking’ until viability dates.
Praising in the Storm – Image by Nelly
Each day, I read messages of women celebrating their rainbows birth after years of infertility and thousands of money spent on IVF, we see pictures of babies as young as 22 weeks in the NICU fighting for their lives and pray for them, women asking for prayers as they just found out they are pregnant and instead of celebrating, anxiety kicks in and they are on medication to curb depression , PTSD and other mental issues.
Couples who are on the verge of losing everything they have after spending more than 10,000EUR on a single embryo adoption which failed and now selling everything to try for the next IVF with no guarantee that it will work. How do all these women stay strong?
The day our princess Olivia Amali went to be our heavenly father, I logged on to get some encouragement from other mamas and as well offer encouragement to those who were still in the IC fight. On this day, the first message I read was the above quoted post from Melissa whom I have recently been in contact with and have learned so much from.
I saw her post and my heart bled for her and I felt sick in my stomach. As much there was so much brokenness in her post, there was still hope and that’s what I wanted to hold on to especially when Hope was the main message carrying us through our own dark time.
Melissa’s post and my girlfriend’s call made me think hard of how women or couples like them and their husbands cope with years of infertility, losses, financial burden etc.
I have received so many messages in my inbox of various testimonies like theirs and some still in waiting but are still trusting God. They will share their stories of how they stayed ‘floating’ in the stormy seasons in due time. Let us continue encouraging each other.
Points to take:
* When the enemy expects you to stay in a perpetual state of fear and worry, turn it to a continuous state of faith. * Trust the Lord’s guidance ~ Proverbs 3;5-7 * Do not glorify the ashes, let His praise be on your lips. * Make small victories and rejoice in these daily goals. * Stay grounded in Christ and stay plugged in a community. * Try not to think ahead of the ‘what ifs’ thoughts as those may never happen and you will be left with grief that you may never experience them. This is different feeling from envisioning something in hope. * Have a heart of gratitude and write down some things you are grateful for. * You or your body might not function as someone else’s and every baby or loss you encountered were all part of who you are today. * As much as it hurts, your broken heart was and is still a part of His plan. * Embrace that this is your journey and allow yourself to cherish each small victory an not take the miracle of giving birth for granted. * It is not your fault that your body is failing you. * Allow yourself to rely on others for support and try to let control ~ “Just Be Held”. * Try to focus on what you have and not compare your milestones with others. * Put this waiting time to use and as time that you will never get back.
We are all in one waiting season in our lives. I would like to encourage us to stay rooted in God and let him show us the purpose of ‘You’ or ‘Me’ being in this season of waiting. We do not want to realize later like Jacob ‘’Surely the Lord was in this place’’. and we just missed him because we were occupied with the dry bones and ashes.
We want to feel Him in this dry season and be aware and also amazed of the glorious promises he is fulfilling behind the scenes. Let us therefore take our eyes off ourselves and our ashes and put them on Christ and His unseen promises.
The truth of the matter is , It is a new day with new mercies and God is asking you “ CAN YOU SEE IT”? But the question is, how will we see what He is doing if we are only ‘praying and asking to be rushed out of the painful seasons? Instead, let us ask of more of Him to be revealed even in our trying seasons.
Isaiah 43 :19.
For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness. I will create rivers in the dry wasteland.
‘’God is getting ready to shift you into a new place. You will have to let go of the old ways of doing things. It is a new day. God has troubled the waters so that you can be thrust into your new season in Him. He has hardened some people’s hearts and made their eyes so they can not see or understand you. He is showing you who you are in Him and who He is in you.
He is closing the mouths of those you crave approval from so you can find your confidence in His Word alone. He is pruning you and you will produce more fruit for His glory. You will reach more people than you thought possible and touch the lives of many. It is time you rise up from your place and accept God’s invitation and His calling to go higher and to go deeper.
You may be all in your feelings because of your situation, my sister, but you’re about to be all in His divine purpose and fulfilling His awesome plan for your life. He will be glorified in the earth and He will be glorified in your life.’’ DoK.
;).
